Fear Factor Fantasy
by TerraZeal
Summary: FFX Characters go on an episode of Fear Factor and Jecht hosts it. Please R/R! Flames are accepted!


Author's Note: Please review! Flames are accepted, as are good reviews. Flames are funny,even ones that say something like "you suck and so does this story", any review will do! I'll also read and review anyone who wants me too's stories!Oh...this is my first ficcie on FF.net,I've been reading stories here forever but I never thought of writing my own until like...awhile ago!Oh yeah! This story takes place sometime in the middle of the game...I don't know! Before the ending I guess. Some spoilers are abound.Also..the characters are OOC...I think anyways!Bashing ahead as well. Mostly Tidus and Yuna, sometimes the others! I don't hate any of the characters...really!

Disclaimer: I don't own anything! In case anyone doesn't know what Fear Factor is its a game show where the contestants compete for $50,000 by doing 3 extreme/gross stunts. After each stunt the contestants may be expelled from the competition by either not completing the stunt or doing it in the slowest time. This takes a while to actually get into the game. **At first its just mindless babbling. So bear with me!**

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Fear Factor Fantasy

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"...and the contestants are...Tidus the crybaby from Zanarkand, Wakka from Besaid, Auron from...somewhere, Lulu from Besaid, Yuna from Besaid, and Rikku from...uhh...wherever the Al Bhed currently live!" the host, Jecht, saidas the contestants walked in to perform their first stunt.

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Tidus: Dad! I had no idea that _you_ were hosting this show! I hate you! I quit! *crys*

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Jecht: Cry, cry, cry! That's all you do! Can't you stop crying just for one second!? The only reason I'm doing this is for the gil, and you better not ruin it for me by crying the whole time or quitting! So shut up and tell the nice camera about yourself.

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Tidus: *sniff* Fine...but I still hate you! My name is Tidus and I'm from a dreamworld called Zanarkand and I'm a dumb blonde! I'm only doing this show so that I can afford a hotel room for me and Yuna to screw each other!

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Wakka: My name is Wakka, ya? I'm from a stupid little town called Besaid, ya? I hate the Al Bhed and machina and anything that defies the teachings of Yevon! I'm on this here show because I need the gil to send the Besaid Aurochs to a training camp because they suck and never win a game, and also because I'm trying to get Webster's to put the word "ya" in the dictionary!

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Tidus: *snorts* Rrrright...are you sure its not just so you can afford a hotel room so you and Lulu can screw in privacy?

Wakka: Hey! You watch your mouth,ya?

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Jecht: Shut up! Both of you! Alright Auroran! Its your turn to tell us about your annoying, dead self!

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Auron:...My name is not Auroran. It is Auron. I am Auron from some unknown land and I am on here simply because Tidus has robbed me of all my gil and I need the money.

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Jecht: Huh? My little crybaby son took your money? I didn't think he had it in him! Way to go Crybaby! If you can steal Aurnan's gil then maybe we can teach you how to blitz!

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Auron:........Auron.

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Tidus: My name is not Crybaby!

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Jecht: Yes it is! *shows Tidus his birth certificate* See? *It says Crybaby instead of Tidus*

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Tidus: Huh!? How come nobody ever told me my real name!?

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Jecht: .....Uhhh...lets just get on with the introductions.

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Lulu: I am Lulu. I have nothing else to say. Except that I don't like Wakka.

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Wakka: Wah!? Lu..I thought you loved me!

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Lulu: .........

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Yuna: *staring into space* huh? Oh! I'm on...am I on? How does my hair look? 

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Jecht: You're on you dumbass! TALK!

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Yuna: Talk? How?

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Jecht: DumbASS! Forget it! Al Bhed slu-I mean Rikku! Its your turn!

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Rikku: Auron...*stares at Auron's ass* you're soooo sexy!

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Auron:....

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Jecht: Okaaaay....Rikku must be really horny to want a dead guy. Let's just get on with the damn stunts! No more ranting about stupid crap! In the first stunt, you have to climb a really tall building and grab as many flags as you can in one minute! Crybaby,you're first! You definitely ain't gonna get this one. You'll probably just cry the whole time!

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Tidus: *crys* I will NOT cry! *sniff* Auron...please make daddy stop picking on me!

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Auron:......Look not to others for knowledge. This is your journey too.

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Tidus: ????? What do you mean?

*the assistants grab Tidus and begin to put his harness on him, Tidus crys about being scared of heights and that he will never get the screw-money he needs for the hotel*

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Assistant: Please be silent! You're hurting my ears!

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Tidus: I hate you too! *trys to kill the assistant* You're making me do this thing when you know i'll probably fall and die!

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Assistant: If you died it would be a national holiday! Hmmm...*laces Tidus' harness up wrong, where it will fall off* There you go! All set and ready to di-I mean go!

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Tidus: Thanks! *starts to climb the building* 

* Tidus climbs about 2 feet and his harness breaks and he falls to ground, crying. Everyone except Jecht runs over to see if he's ok.*

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Jecht: Hey! Assistant! Get over here! *gets out a 100gil piece* *whispers* This could be yours if you manage to actually kill him instead of just messing up his safety gear.

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Assistant: You don't have to pay me! I'll kill him gladly by myself! All the others too! OH! And I'll kill you if you want me to!

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Jecht: Hell no! Just kill Tidus. JUST HIM! NO ONE ELSE! OKAY!?

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Assistant: What if he kills you first?

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Jecht: What kind of son would kill his own father? 

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Assistant: Well, you see I-

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Jecht: !? I don't wanna hear it! Tidus! You will move on to the next round because of your faulty harness and equipment problems...*mumbles to himself* and because maybe in the next stunt having you will be killed easier...

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Tidus: Thanks daddy! I still hate you though! Where's that bastard assistant!? He messed with my harness, I know he did!

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Assistant: Who? Me? I would NEVER do such a thing! How could you blame me?

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Tidus: You're out to get me! You and my old man want me dead!

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Assistant: *protests weakly* do not.

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Tidus: WAAHHH!!!!! *crys into the assistants clothing*

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Assistant: You're getting me all wet! Do you know how much this robe cost!?

*Jecht tells the next contestant to get ready while Tidus and the Assistant are arguing about clothing and crying,etc. Yuna was the one who was randomly selected to go next. Another assistant ties her harness up.*

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Assistant 2: #@$! You are the stupidest person I've ever met! Hold still! &@#(@! 

*Yuna giggles like an idiot while trying to comb her hair. She TRIES to comb her hair,that is. She ends up just hitting herself in the head with the brush. Assistant 2 tells her to stop and that she is being a damned idiot. She is then ready to start climbing*

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Yuna: Did you know that the cheese is in the dog's butt? *Yuna has a conversation with the poor, tortured voice in her head as she is climbing (amazing! I know!) up the building* The gnomes...they don't go there! NOOO! I SAID THEY DON'T GO THERE DAMMIT!

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Tidus: Whoa! I'm getting horny! YUNA! I can see your ass! You should have worn pants!

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Yuna: TIDUS! Tell Joe that the gnomes don't go there! TELL HIM!

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Tidus: ???? Who's Joe? 

* Yuna makes it to the top and starts to grab flags while ranting about cheesy dog butts and gnomes. She has 5 when the clock stops* 

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Jecht: Damned stupid bitch...I was hoping she would fall and die.

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Assistant 2: &@(#&!(! Me too!

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Assistant: So cruel! Lady Yuna may be stupid but she is quite...err..lovely.

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Assistant 2: @#@!#! Who are you anyway!?

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Assistant: *defensively* Who are you?

* the assistants argue meaninglessly about useless shit*

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Yuna: *being lowered back to the ground* Rinoa Heartilly likes to eat plastic and metal! Squallypants is Rinoa's boyfriend! My Tidywidypoos is soooo much hotter! Right Joe? That's what I thought! *grabs her harness and swings like a swing* THE GNOMES DON'T GO THERE! WHHEEEEE! Hey Joe, waddayaknow? What? The cheese isn't in the dog's butt anymore!? NOO!

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Jecht: ............stupid bitch.

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Tidus: That's the woman I screw! Don't insult her!

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Rikku: Alright! My turn! Auriepoos! Watch me! *goes over to assistant 2 and has him put the harness on her*

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Assistant 2: @#!$! Don't touch my ass! *removes Rikku's hand from his ass*

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Yuna: Ass? The cheese is in the gnomes butt!

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Assistant: .......Please shut up.

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Yuna: *giggles and hugs the assistant* You believe me don't you? The gnomes don't go there? *the assistant glares at Yuna nastily and readies an Ultima spell*

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The Voice in Yuna's Head: Yes! Please kill her! I want to be freed! I hate being cramped up in this idiot's head.

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Assistant: Who the hell said that?

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Yuna: Joe! The voice in my head! DUH!

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Rikku: He-ey! Stop this stupid babbling and let me do this stunt! Hey! Aurie, look at me!*waves from the top of the building*

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Auron: *sigh* My name is not Aurie. It is Auron.

* Rikku is raised up and begins to climb the building*

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Rikku: Huff...puff...*wheeze* this is hard...how did Yuna make it? *climbs up the building, albeit harshly* I can't do this! *is finally on the top* must...grab...flags...

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Jecht: Oh geeze! She ain't never gonna make it!

Okay! That's it for now! How did you like it? Should I write another chapter? Who should win? R/R please!


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